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Family Services

Visiting Your Spouce In Prison-By Jennifer Gross, Director of family services

  • 10-Nov-09 14:38
    Message # 242977
    Steven Oberfest (administrator)

    Common sense 101.  Do NOT bring cell phones, toys or food into the prison.  Just bring yourself and any medication needed, for example, asthma inhalers or other medications.  Check with the list of what is acceptable to bring into each particular prison on BOP.gov.

    Make friends with officer.  The first person you will encounter at the prison is your spouse’s officer.  Be prepared…the visiting room can be a scary place full of strangers and prison officers.  The prison officers can be very scary and try to make conversation with them.  See if they have children, especially if you do.  For example, I make contact on a personal level with the officers where my husband is incarcerated.  I always ask a new officer “Do you have children?”  If they say “Yes”, then I always say “You must feel some sympathy for me and my children because this is the last place I ever thought I would bring my children.”  This makes the officer come to my level and makes him feel sympathy for my children and myself.

    Dress nicely.  Your spouse will want to see you looking good.  Make sure your children look nice as well.  Try to keep their spirits up by presenting a nice image to them.

    Keep extra clothes in the car.  Check on the Internet at bop.gov for specific colors you can’t wear.  Each federal prison has certain color clothing that visitors cannot wear.  I ALWAYS keep an extra set of clothes for each person visiting the prison on a regular basis in the car…to be turned away for the wrong color clothing could ruin your day and your spouse’s day.  By keeping an extra set of clothes in the car, disaster can be avoided. 

    Also, check the website for the specific days and times you can visit.  Also, the website will provide guidelines for that particular prison.

    Make friends with other inmate’s wives/husbands.  They are going through what you are going through…you have a common ground and can help each other in support and advice.

    Getting counted.  The Federal Bureau of Prisons likes to count people at any time for any reason…so be prepared to have your spouse stand up and have to leave the visiting area to be counted.  Sometimes the federal officers have a counting issue and this can take some time.  Do NOT disturb your spouse during the count or they will get in trouble by the prison officer.

    Also, bring your smile. Put your best GAME FACE forward.  Try to focus on positive thoughts and ideas during the visit.  When we visit my husband in jail we play the good memory game.  We go around our group, my husband, myself and each of my two children and we each tell one of our favorite memories.  This usually creates a lot of laughter and keeps everyone’s spirits high.  Also, use each visit to play a game.  Usually, cards or board games are available for the inmates and visitors to use.  Learn a lot of card games.

    If anyone in the visiting room says anything bad about your spouse who is in jail…ignore it.  Keep the visit calm.  Do NOT fight with anyone…this could lead to your spouse having a tough time from other inmates or the prison officers.

    There may be a lot of kids your children’s age in the visiting room.  This is a good place for them to make friends with kids who are going through exactly what they are going through. 

    Your spouse who is in jail cannot touch money.  You have to get their food from a vending machine for them.  Also, they are not allowed to look at the vending machines so you have to get them their food.

    Upon arrival at the prison you must fill out a visitors form.  Bring extra pens (most banks give out free pens) and leave them there for the officers…this will make them happy and other visitors happy because there are never enough pens to go around!  Also, you can download and fill out the visitors form BEFORE you visit your spouse or friend.  This will save you time and aggravation.  You must also sign into and out of the visitor’s logbook. 

    Each inmate is allotted twelve visiting points per month at most federal prisons.  Check at bop.gov to make sure that this rule applies to your particular prison.   Note, weekday visits are charged as one point, weekend and holiday visits are charged as two points. A maximum of twelve points per month will be authorized. Unused visiting points are not carried over from one month to another.

    Inmates will be responsible for submitting a list of proposed visitors. These persons include members of their family, and friends and associates with an established relationship prior to confinement.  Each inmate, upon arrival, will be provided copies of the local visiting guidelines and the Visiting List Request Form, which will be completed by the inmate.

    Visitors who are 16 or 17 years of age and not accompanied by a parent, legal guardian or immediate family member at least 18 years of age: must have the written approval of a non-incarcerated parent, legal guardian or the visiting privileges of friends and associates without an established relationship with the inmate prior to confinement must be approved by the Warden.  Normally, only inmates who have no other visitors on their approved list will receive consideration. 

    General visiting hours at most federal prisons are between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 2:45 p.m. on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Federal Holidays.  Check on the Internet at bop.gov for the hours of your particular federal prison.  Note that visitors will not be permitted to leave and then return to the visiting room on the same day.  Visiting on Saturday, Sunday, and Federal Holidays will be conducted between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.  Again, please check on bop.gov for the particular times for your specific prison.

    The maximum number of visitors on an inmate's authorized visiting list will be immediate family and twenty-five additional adults.  A maximum number of four (4) adult visitors, excluding children, may visit the inmate at one time.  Therefore, when conditions of overcrowding exist, the number of visitors may be further limited to allow each visitor adequate space and time to conduct their visit.

    Special visits are interpreted as clergy, potential employers, and occur on a one-time basis only.

    In those rare occasions where a decision must be made which will substantially affect the assets or prospects of the business, the Warden may permit a special visit.

    All efforts will be expended to ensure that an attorney has access to his/her client. Due to the unique situation in the state of New York, an attorney will either present a bar card or identify him/her self as an attorney with a driver’s license. This will be acceptable in lieu of the bar card. Two forms of identification are required.

    Inmates hospitalized in an outside (community) hospital will not ordinarily receive visits. Visits for inmates hospitalized in the community must be approved by the Warden.  When approved, outside hospital visits will only be for a short duration, not to exceed three hours.

    Prior to entering the visiting room, all inmates will be pat searched. Prior to exiting the visiting room, all inmates will be visually searched and hand-held metal detector screened.

    Bring a lot of change and a lot of singe dollar bills!  Vending machines are located in the visiting room and provide a choice of sandwiches, candy, coffee, sodas, etc.  No food or beverages will be allowed to be brought into the visiting room by an inmate or visitor. Inmates may share food (i.e., entrees, snacks) purchased by their visitors from the vending machines. All food items must be consumed in the visiting room. The officers assigned to the visiting room are not responsible for loss or malfunction of the vending machines. DO NOT bother the officers if the vending machine does not work. Vending machines will be operated by the visitor ONLY.  Inmates are prohibited from entering the vending machine and microwave area. Inmates are allowed to leave their seats to use the bathroom facilities and to dispose of trash only.

    Do NOT bring into the prison: alcohol, narcotics, firearms, or ammunition. (Common sense 101!)  All inmate visitors will be required to pass through the walk-through metal detector.

    Visitors will be permitted to carry the following items into the visiting room: one small clear transparent purse, a reasonable amount of feminine

    Hygiene items, a reasonable amount of infant food and care items and life saving medication. Leave everything else in your car. All items are authorized for entrance into the visiting room will be thoroughly searched by the front entrance officer.

    Additionally, all carry-in items will be subject to an X-Ray machine search. Visitors will not be allowed to leave money for deposit into an inmate's account or remove inmate items at the conclusion of the visits. Inmates are prohibited from handling, wearing, using, and/or holding any visitor’s property and/or money. Any violation will result in termination and/or disciplinary action.

    Visitors who are not properly attired will be denied a visit. Visitors are not allowed to wear suggestive, provocative or otherwise revealing clothing when visiting an inmate. Inappropriate slogans and/or depictions on

    Clothing are prohibited. Shoulders must be covered.  Skirts must be three inches above the knee.   No miniskirts or clothing with holes will be allowed.  No short shorts.  No tank tops for males or females.

    Hats, caps, bandanas or any other type of headgear is not permitted on any adult visitor. The exception is religious headwear identified as the following: kufis, yarmulkes, turbans, crowns, and headbands, as well as scarves and head wraps for orthodox Muslim and Jewish women.

    Shoes, for safety reasons, must be worn at all times by all visitors. Flip flops and shower shoes are prohibited from entering into the institution. Other footwear that do not have a strap around the back of the ankle are prohibited. Open toed shoes that have a strap around the back of the ankle may be worn.

    If it is determined the clothing is inappropriate, the visitor will not be permitted to enter the institution.

    Acceptable identification is limited to a valid picture identification issued by a Federal or State agency (i.e. a driver's license, an official state identification card, passport, etc.). Foreign government issued passports will

    Also be accepted (foreign issued identification cards are not acceptable). Visitors wearing any type of Military Uniform must present valid military identification.  All visitors 16 years of age and older must present valid photo identification prior to the visit. The identification must be valid and contain a photo.

    Photographs: Inmates may purchase tickets from the commissary for the purpose of obtaining photographs of themselves and family in the visiting room. Photographs will be taken by an authorized inmate photographer. All photos will be in good taste.

    Remember; make each visit count as a family memory.  Try to focus on positive goals that each person will have to reach when the incarcerated spouse comes home.  Each week, go over the list of goals each person in the family has and see where each person is on their list and if they need any help achieving their goals.  This way, the incarcerated spouse and each family member will have a positive feeling and will be working to accomplish something while the spouse/parent is incarcerated.


    Last modified: 10-Nov-09 14:49 | Steven Oberfest (administrator)
 

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